All I want to do is take a shower!!!!!!!

This is the story of my attempt to take a shower this morning.

I wake up and realize that all is quiet. The kids must still be asleep. Awesome. I will take a shower before they get up. I stand up out of bed....Madison wakes up and is ready to eat. No big deal. I will feed her and then jump in the shower before the boys get up. I feed her and get her settled with some toys. I run towards the bathroom. The boys wake up. No fear. I will get them changed, fed and let them watch a movie. Twenty minutes later all three kids are in the living room watching "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars." I jump in the shower. Two seconds later I hear the bathroom door open. I peak out and see a totally naked 3yr old.
Preston: "I take a shower too Mommy"
Mommy: "No Preston. You take baths with Landon. Not Mommy. But since you are naked please use the potty"
Preston: "NO GO POTTY!!"
And the 3yr old runs out the door. So, I continue my shower and pray that said 3yr old does not pee on the carpet. Five seconds later. "Clink, Splash" I peak out of the shower and find a very cute 18mo old with his hands in the toilet.
Mommy: " Landon Jaxon get your hands out of the toilet right now!"
Landon: "Is a no no Mommy"
Mommy: "That's right. Now please go play"
18 month old leaves. I continue my shower. Five seconds later..... "Clink. Splash"
Mommy: "LANDON JAXON NEWHART, put the plunger down and get out of the bathroom!!!!"
18 month old runs out of the bathroom. I continue showering. One minute later I feel a hand grab the back of my knee. I scream, jump around, get shampoo all in my eyes and find my 18 mo old smiling at me.
Mommy: "No no Landon. Mommy needs privacy."
18 mo old leaves. A few minutes late.... "Clink splash splash splash."
Mommy (who has now paused the shower to jump out and grab the offender): "Landon, get the potty wand out of the potty and go watch your movie."
As the 18 month old is walking out of the bathroom the 3 yr old comes running in screaming..."Mommy Mommy there's a spider."
Mommy: "Where is the spider?"
Preston: "On Meesmon (Madison)!!!"
I panic and go running to the living room to save my daughter. Amazingly I managed to not fall. (Remember...I had just stepped out of the shower to pull Landon out of the toilet and the floor was wet.) I did not find a spider. So, I returned to finish my shower as quickly as possible.

I have vowed to never again attempt to take a shower while the children are awake.
And if you are wondering if it is possible for my life to be this interesting......you may borrow my children for a day.